


Eris

by Nestra



Category: Firefly
Genre: First Time, M/M, sweet charity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-07-02
Updated: 2007-07-02
Packaged: 2017-10-02 06:45:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nestra/pseuds/Nestra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"That right there made him suspicious, and his misgivings were fulfilled when Jayne started suborning the crew."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eris

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for prehistoric_sea, who was kind enough to purchase me in the Sweet Charity auction. She asked for Mal/Jayne, "preferably plotty with some porn thrown in for good measure."

Mal had no intention of stopping on Eris, not until Jayne badgered him about it for two days straight. Eris was a nasty little backwater of a place, low on the list of Mal's least favorite places, and given that he'd had once had an unfortunate encounter with a horse on a nearby moon, that was saying a lot.

"Mal, if we get within spitting distance of my mama and don't stop in, I ain't never gonna hear the end of it."

"And I don't see how that makes it my problem," Mal said, fully expecting Jayne to back him into the bulkhead and growl something like "I'll make it your problem," but instead, Jayne walked away. That right there made him suspicious, and his misgivings were fulfilled when Jayne started suborning the crew.

Kaylee was an easy sell, of course. "Oh, come on, captain. It's his mama." Girl had too soft a heart to be flying around in space. But he didn't expect it when Zoe came up to him and said, "It does seem only fair, sir."

"Fair? If the 'verse was fair, I'd have two flying ships -- one for me and one for you lunatics."

Zoe just shrugged. "Family is family."

But in the end, Mal learned something about himself that he'd have been happier not knowing. He couldn't hold out against Jayne being polite.

"Aw, please, Mal? We don't have to stay long, but I ain't seen her or my cousins in ages." He'd cornered Mal in the kitchen, so of course there was an audience sitting at the table, stuffing their mouths, and watching the show. Mal tried to pretend that it was Kaylee's big eyes or Book's knowing look that shamed him into saying yes, but there was also the fact that Jayne almost never said 'please'."

"One night," he said. "No longer than that, or we risk not getting the cargo back to Liang on time."

Jayne punched the air with a fist. "I'm gonna send a wave to the post office and tell her we're coming so she can meet us at the docks." He ran out of the room at top speed, near to knocking Wash over as he passed him.

"What's he so excited about?" Wash asked, sitting himself down next to his wife.

"We're gonna land on Eris and meet up with his family," Zoe said.

"Eris? Yuck." Zoe poked him with her chopsticks, and Wash rephrased. "I mean, how delightful for Jayne."

Mal grabbed his bowl and hooked his foot under a chair, pulling it out. He sat down next to Kaylee, who left off mooning at the doctor and turned those stars in her eyes on him.

"What do you think she's like, Captain?"

"It's not a subject I've spent much thought on," he mumbled through a mouthful of noodles.

"Sort of like...a lady version of Jayne?" Wash offered. They all fell into a horrified silence to consider that possibility. "Um, forget I said that."

***

Turned out that Jayne's mama was very nearly a lady version of Jayne. She didn't have his height, of course, nor his bulk, but she was sturdy and forceful, plenty of brown hair still mixed in with the gray. Her face held the same expression of mule stubbornness that Jayne's usually did, but it looked a mite more pleasant on her. At least, Mal thought so, until she took two steps into his ship and made it clear that "mama" outranked "captain".

"Jayne, you get over here and hug your mama." Jayne stared down the rest of the crew, as if any of them would be stupid enough to make fun of him to his face, then lumbered over and gave her a hug. He did the same to the teenaged girl who'd come in with Mama Cobb; the older boy got a slap on the back.

"I wish I could invite you all back to my house for dinner, but it's crowded with only me and Matty and Judy. The seams would bust with you lot. I brought some vegetable pears and broth packets, though, and if you'll let me poach some supplies from your mess hall, I can make a soup that'll stretch to cover us all. Judy, get the pretty lady to show you the way to the mess."

Inara simply raised her eyebrows at Mal before threading her arm through Judy's and steering her out of the cargo bay. He wished he could go with them, but Mama Cobb clamped her hand on his arm, and she had a grip on her like a hydraulic press.

"Now, we can't stay too late," she said, "since both the young'uns have the early shift at the mine, but it'll be enough time to catch up. I want to hear about what you've been doing, all the thrilling stories. It's awful tame here, nothing but the mine and the plant and the general store, so I got to get my excitement where I can."

Jayne bounded up behind them and settled himself on his mama's other side. "Ma, did I tell you about the time Mal dressed up like a girl?"

"Really?" She searched him up and down, and Mal wondered if this was what Inara felt like when clients looked her over. "I definitely want to hear all about that."

***

Mal's only comfort was that the woman had already mentioned they couldn't stay long. Given how much action she managed to pack into each minute, they'd be lucky to get out of there before she reorganized the kitchen, redecorated the ship, and set them all up on dates with Jayne's distant relatives.

He didn't mind someone making his dinner, especially someone who cleaned up behind herself as she went. That part was pretty nice. But though he knew it was bad-tempered of him, he resented her coming in and taking over his ship, giving orders to his crew. She was probably a little crazy anyway. Your mama birthed you and had to love you, but she adored Jayne beyond all reason. Though he could almost understand that. Jayne was like a dog he'd had as a kid, ugly cur who'd bite you as soon as look at you, but who had a way of sneaking up and putting his head on your knee when you least expected it. He'd always thought he'd hated that dog, until the day he woke up and found it lying cold at the foot of his bed.

Book and Kaylee cleared some empty dishes from the table and brought them over to the counter where Mal was standing, inventing tasks for himself so he didn't have to go sit back down. Jayne's mama seemed to be telling some story, breaking into loud wheezes of laughter every few sentences.

"What do you think of her?" Book asked, obviously not talking about Judy, who hadn't said three words.

"She's...nice," Mal said, knowing that the preacher wouldn't be fooled for a moment.

Kaylee set her dishes down and under the cover of noise said, "I feel like I should like her, but she's kind of...pushy."

"She's got quite a personality, that's for sure," Book agreed. "She reminds me of my paternal grandmother. Forceful woman, my grandmother. Though I don't recall my grandmother being quite so earthy."

"I've ain't even heard some of those words before, and I thought I knew all the good curse words." Kaylee sounded almost admiring.

"Malcolm Reynolds, get back over here. You're missing all the fun!"

"Oh, I somehow doubt that," Mal muttered, but let Kaylee drag him back to the table.

"Now what's this I hear about you threatening to flush my boy out an airlock?" Mal froze halfway down into his seat and felt his fake smile falter.

"I don't know as that's suitable dinnertime conversation, ma'am."

"I'm not angry."

"You're not?"

She laughed and yanked him down into his chair. "Lord, no. You don't think I know what it's like with Jayne? He's a good-hearted boy, but sometimes you have to thump some sense into him."

"But he thumped me with a wrench!" Jayne protested.

"And you deserved it, trying to sell out these sweet children." Simon flushed, unused to having an elderly woman defend him. River, seated between him and Matty, had kept herself to herself the whole evening, and Mal gave thanks for small favors.

"Jayne, these people is your family now, almost more than we are. You want them to watch out for you, then you gotta be willing to do the same. And wipe your mouth. You look like you've been face-down in a feeding trough."

"Yes, ma'am," Jayne said, swiping his napkin across his face. Mal didn't know why that made him smile for real, but he suddenly felt a little better about having Mama Cobb on his ship.

***

They saw the Cobbs off without any further trouble -- no more talk of airlocks, no crazy outbursts from River, no strain at all. Mal even managed not to mind too much when Mama Cobb kissed him on the cheek and said, "Now, you watch over Jayne. I know he ain't the smartest creature God ever made, but I feel better now that I've met you lot. You're all good people."

Mal thought about that later, getting himself ready for bed after making sure Wash was pointing the ship in the right direction. He wasn't sure they counted as good people. Sure, the shepherd was good, and Inara was respectable enough. You couldn't find anyone with a sunnier disposition than Kaylee, and Zoe was Zoe, and Wash had made Zoe happy. And maybe even River and Simon were good enough when one wasn't crazy and the other worried out of his mind. That left him and Jayne.

Maybe Jayne was good enough, in his way. Mal hadn't ever been surprised at anything he did, and there was something nice about someone so predictable.

"Mal?"

Mal jumped and spilled water down the front of his shirt. "_Ai ya_, Jayne, why are you sticking your oversized head in here?"

Jayne took that as an invitation and climbed the rest of the way into Mal's room. "I was thinking, Mal."

"And what have we told you about doing that? Not in polite company, or any other company, or by yourself." Mal peeled his shirt off and tossed it in a heap on the floor. He'd hang it up in the morning, make sure it dried -- Jayne was taking his clothes off. Why was Jayne taking his clothes off?

"What in the gorram hell are you doing?"

"You heard what my ma said," Jayne said, voice a little muffled as he worked his shirt over his head.

"Oh, please let's not talk about your mama when you're standing in front of me without your pants."

"I never thought about you being my family, but she's right."

Mal squeaked as he backed away from Jayne. "Family does not mean naked!"

"Come on, Mal. There's no harm in a rut, and I ain't never done it with someone I wanted to see again the next morning. If it's good, we could do it again."

"Jayne-- "

Jayne reached out a big hand and said that damn word again. "Please, Mal?"

"You son of a bitch," Mal sighed, and let Jayne kiss him. He couldn't deny that it felt good, skin against his, Jayne's strong body something to push and rub against. Jayne wasn't refined in the slightest, going straight for Mal's pants, but when he reached inside and started pulling, Mal's head thumped back against the wall. He let Jayne get him off right there, pants slipping down his hips and Jayne's hot wet breath in his ear. It was over awful quick, which said a lot about Mal's deprivation and Jayne's skill with his hands.

He steered Jayne onto the bunk, then finished taking his pants off. By the time he made it down next to Jayne, Jayne had a hand wrapped around himself.

"The point," Mal said, shoving his hand out of the way, "is to let me do it for you. You want to please yourself, you can do that in your own damn bunk."

Jayne chuckled. "Yes, sir -- oh, shit, Mal, that's so gorram good." He arched up and nearly knocked Mal to the floor. The bunk wasn't nearly big enough for two full-sized men, and Mal figured they'd have to do something about that, if they were going to make a habit of sharing. And as Jayne grunted and groaned, he recollected that the walls weren't as thick as he might wish.

Jayne clamped his fingers on top of Mal's, squeezed hard, and came with a shudder. They lay together for a few minutes until Mal decided that sweat wasn't something he wanted to share unless there was mutual enjoyment going on. Before he could say anything, Jayne heaved himself up and over Mal, kissed him quickly, and started gathering his clothes.

"Good enough for you to want to do it again?" Mal asked, pulling the tangled and slightly dirty sheet out from under himself.

Jayne snorted. "Hell, yeah. Don't even need to leave the ship to get some. It's awful convenient. I shoulda done this months ago."

"Jayne," Mal said cautiously, "you aren't gonna go and write a letter to your mama about your brilliant idea, are you?"

"Course not," Jayne said, buttoning his pants. "It was her idea."


End file.
